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so bored now so i'll blog.
the year's coming to an end. i HATE the feeling of things ending you know. even when i was small, when Noah's Ark ended...i remember sitting up in bed crying for 2 nights. i was still about 9 or 10 then? yeah... i guess ever since from young i couldnt deal with any kind of losses whatsoever. and i always hated the new year. feelings of sadness happiness anxiety and so much more...wow the feelings just overcome you man...
but what i HATE MOST is the loneliness of the new year. when your alone. thinking about the past year. what you've done wrong...what you've done right. and how everything seems so far away from you. how everything seems so out of reach. hwo everything seems so yesterday. and then you want to look to the next year. but your afraid to do so. cuz you dont know whats in it for you. i KNOW im afraid of 2006. im very afraid in fact. not just because of O levels. just afraid. like please man...this time last year, i wasnt even expecting myself to be in this position. wasnt expecting myself to be doing what im doing now.
i just HATE all of this. its the times when your alone when your friends have gone home and your walking up your stairs. hell those moments are scary. it really stirs the feelings you know? hmmmm dunno if anyone of you feels this way. i know i do.
what could make it all better is to have you by my side. thats all i'll ask actually. and I AM going to keep my new year resolution. no mattter what. at the most 2 or 3 a week. nothing more. i know i can do it. sigh oh well.
anywae, whoever's reading this...can u please tag? so i know whos coming here. haha. thanks. night night!
new year aint that happy.