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i hate you...i hate you for making me so happy...i hate you for making so sad...i hate being on this emotional rollercoaster with you at the controls...i get so dizzy i want to vomit my heart out for you...
i want to forget all this...i want to forget you...i want to leave you...but somewhere, inside of me, i dont want to stop loving you...i cant bring myself to stop caring...
would you look up at the stars like i told you too? i know i will look up at them when im away...and when i look at them, i'll think of you...then all the hurt and love comes back...
i just want to close my eyes and sleep...and forget everything...but why is it that i still pray everynight to God, praying that he will let me see you in my dreams?
you wouldnt know how much i love you...you wouldnt know how much i care...you wouldnt know how much effort and energy it takes to hang on...you wouldnt feel the hurt im taking...
your gone a day and im already missing you terribly...what more a week? a month? what more having to distance myself from you just to forget you? i dont know if i can make it and take it...
but i'll try...just to see you happy...just to see that your enjoying yourself...
im confused,tired, stressed...hai...my heart is heavy...
[read my previous entry okaay? you know who you are]